Sunday, June 17, 2012
It has been 38 years.
Some days it seems like yesterday.
No question about it. I was a daddy's girl and proud of it. I still remember the day I found out that he was sick. I remember sitting by the window in Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital nestled in his shoulder crying my eyes out. There was nothing that he could say or do that would make this any better. He had always been able to fix anything for me.
But he couldn't fix this.
It was one of life's defining moments for me when he died. The loss of my dad had such a huge impact on me. I didn't think anything or anyone could take his place in my heart. He pushed me because he knew that I needed to be pushed. He was tough and he was fair. Justice was a big part of his personality and he passed that on to me. He made me focus because he knew that I could sometimes be scattered. He was proud of me no matter what.
He sang "there she is, Miss America" when I walked in the room.
I've tried to pass those kind of memories on to my daughter. There is something special about that kind of relationship and he would have absolutely adored her. I don't have a lot of regrets about life but I do regret that he couldn't have known her. If he spoiled me that is only a small speck compared to what he would have done with her. She would have been the apple of his eye.
So, another Father's Day without him has come and with it a little piece of my heart still breaks.
But, I am so thankful that I had a father that I could hold dear to my heart.
I have wonderful memories that are such a part of me and that now make me smile.
Happy Father's Day Daddy.
Doesn't even come close...............